9 REASONS WHY PEOPLE LIKE YOU

I've decided to compile a list of why people like you. In no way is this a full list, and I've only included malleable traits aimed at increasing well-being. But if this feels hokey, and means you like me a little less, then so be it. 

1. They like you because you're kind. The single most important trait over looked by the self-help industry, and by far the most potent. As much as I'm a fan of saying "The secret to success is sincerity; and once you learn to fake that, you've got it made", I'm genuinely an honest advocate of sincerity and kindness (see how good I've gotten). I'm talking about a kindness as an approach to well-being, not a means to an end. The process of being kind is what makes for a richer life. But please don't mistake this for being a pushover. Rather, view it from an angle of integrity and character. 

2. Because you remember their name. If you find yourself saying "I'm great with faces, but terrible with names". you need to read my earlier post on name recall. Remembering someone's name shows genuine interest. It's a good practice, and appreciated more than you think.  

3. Because you know when to stop talking. You should have something to share, but knowing when to stop is the idea. A good trick is to watch their engagement. Heavy, rapid nodding is a sign your going on too long; so wrap up the story about your kid...

4. Because your opinions leave no animosity. Having an opinion shows you care about ideals. But learning to share without censoring yourself, and leaving no animosity, comes down to one basic skill - listening. Trying to win an argument is perilous (something I know too much about). But if your goal is to see a different perspective, you'll learn something new, or find better ways to articulate your weak points. You're much better off with intent to understand, rather than trying to prove something. 

5. Because you listen. Don't mistake this for waiting your turn. To truly listen, we must stop formulating our response, and understand their whole thought before sharing ours. As a result, they're likely to listen with the same respect that makes for an absorbing & friendly conversation.

6. Because you're on time. What a concept, respecting someone's time. The most valuable facet of life, and it's stolen by latecomers the world over. Fortunately, I grew up playing ball, where promptness meant play time. You didn't respect your team, you didn't play. If only the same rule applies to business and relationships. However, sometimes being late is unavoidable, so the key then is acknowledgement. There's nothing worse than showing up late as if it's no big deal. 

7. Because you have something nice to say. Thoughtless compliments are transparent. Especially when their given on a consistent basis. The rule of thumb is to wait for something worth complimenting. You won't have to feign sincerity, and it will exude honesty the way a good compliment should. Saying something nice makes others feel good, and increases your own well-being. 

8. Because you have your own interests and ideas. We generally don't like people who are exactly like us. We like variety and new ideas. Of course we find similarities in our friends, but these are smaller than you think. It's about having your own interests and relating them to others. 

9. Because you have a sense of humor. The blood of any relationship is laughter. Laughing with people, and at yourself, is a big key on the janitor-ring of friendships. You don't necessarily have to be witty, but a willingness to laugh is vital. 

*I've only left 9 because I want to hear what you have to say on the subject. Perhaps one is "because you don't write hokey posts". Leave a comment below and share any additions that come to mind. If you don't have any additions, something kind or funny will do just fine.