On Being Thought Foolish & Stupid
If we want to better our lives, here's some good old fashioned stoic philosophy:
“If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish & stupid.”
- Epictetus
Assuming we want to improve, there are some major barriers we face. Most of which we just imagine, and will never happen. But our biggest barrier is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Because doing something new, at the risk of looking stupid, is scary. Especially compared to the illusion of more "successful" people online. We can't compete with cherry picked versions of our followers. So we follow their path, living a filtered life, never to follow our dreams.
Here's a hint if you're not sure what to do in life -- it might be the thing which scares you the most. The reason it scares you is because you're afraid of looking foolish. You're afraid of looking foolish because it means the world to you. That's why you must do it, as soon as possible.
Now be careful, there's a common suggestion which is well intentioned, but misguided -- to not care what others think. This might ease some criticism, but never stops our internal critic. Who’s always there, ready to bring us down. To tell us we're frauds, and to remind us we actually do care what others think.
But even if we didn’t care, does the "not caring" include people who actually like us, or those who think what we're doing is great? Should we not care about those who feel a connection with us? Isn't human connection the whole point, and one of the major perks of life!? To “not care what others think”, is to shut the door on one of the most valuable aspects of being alive.
Being ok with being thought stupid, however, allows for more connection and begets a fuller life. Criticism becomes a reminder that we're actually doing what we want, not just what is safe or easy. Like a theme park, life needs to be chaotic or exciting or scary. Other times, slow and romantic. To appreciate one feeling, we need to experience the others. That's how we live a life of abundance.
Finally, allowing ourselves to be uneasy or vulnerable, makes our life story so much more interesting! What's a good story without failures, barriers, or villains? The more we welcome the idea that we could look foolish, the more we take control of our own life story.
The critics will never go away. But when we welcome them, they lose their power. They'll remind us that we're going for it, and they're just over there, somewhere, in their underwear, commenting...
Cool is overrated anyway.
So go look stupid.
Yours Truly,
Matthew Cooper
P.S. I feel foolish posting this :)
P.P.S. No more comments on my blog. But you can email me if you have something nice (or mean) to say: info@whoiscooper.com - or if you find a typo.
